Create / Me By the Sea

There is a woman that lives by the sea

I am that woman & she has become me

The ocean she loved, for so long & so much

She lives now close by, close enough to touch

She visualized and felt it, day after day

Soon the ocean called her, it had found a way

Her house is a snug one, with a terracotta roof

Her dreams did come true, here was the proof.

Two bedrooms, large bathroom, an office to work

Snug and serene, with all her pets and her perks…

I am that woman that lives besides the sea

I became her, because of her vision of me.

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Love / Surrender and Acceptance

When life doesn’t seem to be working out in the way that I think it should, I need to accept the reality, find peace within myself, and surrender the need to control. Accepting life’s reality means accepting change and realize that it is a fundamental part of life and will happen. Holding on to situations lightly can ease the emotional loads I carry, and also reduce attachment and suffering. This means I still care, yet I’m able to detach from attaching. Practicing acceptance has brought me peace of mind, and it can really help me to surrender. Finding peace within myself means accepting everything that’s happening around me and not take it personally. It involves learning to trust the process of what is happening, and let go of the outcomes. Many times the most challenging experiences of my life have led to my greatest growth. The need to control is powerful for me, and I developed this negative trait as a survival technique growing up in a household with alcoholism ...

The Shoebox

My name is Kathleen, and I was born in Los Angeles within a family struggling with addiction issues of different forms. My mother was a registered nurse working graveyard shift with a dependence on Demerol. She stole the drug from work, self-medicating to deal with her issues & yet undiagnosed schizophrenia. My mother, Christmas 1970 My father had issues with control, money, and keeping his house in order. Many weekends, he drove across the border in Tijuana to purchase baby Amazon parrots and smuggled them back to Los Angeles stashed underneath the backseat of his convertible 69" Karmann Ghia. He did this on a regular basis, and I now realize that back home, he raised the them & sold the adult birds for profit. My first memory ever is lying down in my crib as an infant, with the white bars surroundin...

Forgive / Surviving a parents suicide

My father came to the U.S. in January of 1967, landing on a Friday & starting work the following Monday. Born in Argentina to parents that came from Austria looking to find work in the early 30’s. My father was disciplined man, also very strict & frugal. For most of his life he worked as a “machinist” in the Los Angeles area, and married my mother in the late sixties. My parents divorced in the early 80’s, and I spent several years in a foster home, with my mother ultimately getting full custody. After age 14, I didn’t see or speak with my father for over 30 years. The Friday before Christmas 2014, he walked back into my life, showing up at the shop I co-owned & ran with my sister. Over the past years, I had sent him cards that his wife had intercepted, but he did manage to get one with the return address. Later I found out that my father had made a decision to find me that year, 2014. He had sold his duplex in Venice Beach, was retired, and had been livi...

LFC= Love, Forgive , and Create. A reflection on the gift of living at my fullest capacity.

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